New, challenging, or moderately stressful experiences are not something we should look to avoid or resolve for our kids. Instead, think of these moments as opportunities that can help them learn to tolerate distress and uncomfortable feelings, manage hard situations, and grow through moments that they might not have believed they could handle.
It is hard to see our kids struggle, and as parents, our inclination is often to try to smooth out every path that lies ahead of them. But while that might be helpful in the short-term, if we are parenting for the long-term, it is important that kids have the opportunity to develop these skills when they are young and the stakes are typically relatively lower. Your job is not to remove the challenge but to validate that something is difficult and to love and support them through it, and be a soft place to land when things don’t go the way they might want them to.
Listen to your kids, help them problem-solve, give them tools, scaffold your guidance so that the challenge is manageable, but don’t look to remove all of the friction. Because let’s face it- life is hard, and we want our children to develop into people who can handle whatever unexpected things life will inevitably throw at them. So start helping them build those muscles now.
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